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2004-03-28 at 4:43 p.m.
And I'm going to GIVE IT TO HER!

I've been doing a LOT of thinking today.

Awhile back, my aunt got this settlement. She brought in $56,000.00 This was fifty-six thousand dollars cash in her pocket.

Out of the goodness of her heart she gave myself, my sister Tanya, and my brother each $100.00. Yes, one hundred piddly fucking dollars. Now it may appear selfish that I'm complaining about getting free money, but you don't understand.

You might have to KNOW my aunt to understand. For starters, do you notice that my oldest sister, Kim, has been left out? Pat figured.. what Kim didn't know wouldn't hurt her. This was bothersome to my mom, myself and Tanya. Kim, pregnant for the first time, and having the hardest time financially of all of us and Pat decides she doesn't need her piddly hundred fucking dollars.

Tanya and I went on to buy Kim some maternity pants from Old Navy, not because we felt obligated, but because we KNOW Kim has it rough right now and we love her.. and want to help her out by getting her something she normally wouldn't get for herself. Not that I'm complaining, because I lived in them, but Old Navy Maternity Pants are fucking EXPENSIVE!

Anyways, I can't even begin to explain how much everyone in my family has done for that woman, my aunt. Without us, she wouldn't be where she is today. When Tanya lived in this building, she kept Pat fed... (help yourself, Pat!) Anything that she needs done, I do for her, or my brother does. My mother and I, with a little help from my brother, painted the whole inside of her new trailer. I hung all her mini blinds, all of her curtains. I sewed 3 pairs of curtains for her and hemmed 4 additional curtains. I decorated her grandsons 2 bedrooms. I moved all her boxes and furniture from the living room into the rooms it all belonged in.

This is all petty stuff, I know. My point is, we do so much for her.. on any given day.

She was a huge drug addict raising her son in Las Vegas. My mom, poor already, scraped up the money to send Pat and her son bus tickets to come to MN and change their lives. Everything Pat has right now, everything that means ANYTHING to her, she owes to my mother. Do you know how much the total of the life she's made for herself is to her? One hundred piddly fucking dollars. Of all people that deserve so much more.. is my mother. Pat is blind as a bat and just as stupid as one, too.

There is a point to all this bitching.

When Pat got her settlement, she bought a new car. She had an older car, but it was in good shape. She told me that she would sell it to me for cheap. Great, I need a car. So.. she buys her new car and comes home and tells me she traded it in for $800.00 towards her new car. Way more than it was worth, so I was content with that. That's how it was supposed to work, if she could get more than it was worth, trade it in. I may be selfish, but not THAT selfish.

Well this morning I was with her at McDonalds. Pulling in, I saw a car that was identical to her old one. I pointed it out to her.. and she got a look of panic on her face. She said "It's Larry. Wonder what he's doing out here." I thought.. "Wow, coincidence.. he bought her car from the dealersh.. No fucking way." I said "Oh?" She said "Yeah, I sold it to him." I asked "How much?" She stumbled.. and came up with.. "around $300.00"

Right, like I believed that shit. Later she told me.. "I figured you had money to buy a car and they're gonna be LIVING in that car soon." Open mouth, insert foot so deep it's about to come out your fucking ASSHOLE!

I know she gave him that car. He is the sole provider of her oxycontin, which she is NOT prescribed. She pays for it, I bet she got at least 20 pills for her car, eh?

When I first found out, after the shock rolled in, I was hurt. It was so obvious, seeing him owning that car, that her OXY-FUCKING-CONTIN means more to her than her family.

We have sure done alot for her.. knowing she had the money to hire someone to do it instead. Did that stop us? No.

I'm writing her a letter.. telling her how she's made everyone around her feel.

And I'm going to GIVE IT TO HER!

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