2004-02-10 at 8:54 a.m.
I'm really pissed off at myself for letting people take advantage of me. I mean.. fucking seriously.
People have been knocking on my door since 8am asking me to watch their kids. What the fuck? Like I should spend all my time with kids so other people can have a break, but why don't I get a FUCKING BREAK?
It's my fault, really. I suck at saying no. But hello, don't people realize I'm extremely pregnant, extremely uncomfortable and extremely fucking moody?
"Oh, it's okay that Tangy feels like shit, I'll ask her anyways cos I know she doesn't say no."
Sadly, I can't say that I'm going to start telling people no.. because "No" doesn't come easily to me.
Like.... if it's not one thing it's a fucking nother.
"Can you watch my kid?"
"Can my kid play here?"
"Will you keep my pills so I can make it through the last 40 of the 160 I started with 2 weeks ago?"
"You should hide those pills. I have a key to your house now." WELL GIVE ME MY FUCKING KEY BACK!(and yes, I did tell her this!)
I have enough stress in my life, really! More emotionally than anything else.. and pretty soon it's gonna come and smack me in the face... hard.
But... when I'm here... grieving over having to hand this little baby over... people are still going to be knocking on my door asking me to watch their kids.
When I'm laying in my bed recovering from childbirth, people are still going to want me to do something for them.. even tho they don't do shit for me.
What a fucked up world we live in.